I will start with an apology: I am sorry. I am sorry that I have used racial tropes and stereotypes in the past and failed to note them. That I have, and continue to find myself backsliding from time to time into those tropes, into separating or categorizing things based on race when I damn well know better. I am sorry for anyone who has ever been hurt by my failure to recognize my own prejudices. I apologize to my friends, both PoC and non, for being silent. I am a poor ally, but worse, I am frequently a silent observer of struggles that matter and I neither help nor offer haven. I'm sorry.

( For most of us who have white privilege of any degree, race fail is not an option, it's an inevitability. )

Even my apology is about me. I'm not sure how to fix that but I'm working on it. My silence aids no one. I'm not sure my words do either, but my silence means I think every thing is hunky-dory. It's not.

Escapade was awesomesauce.

I didn't get to thank everyone who made it possible but thank you, thank you. Even the fact that I have the con-crud does not diminish the simple pleasure just being around people I like was.

I've got not much else. Return to work was the usual flurry of stuff wot did not get done while I was gone, plus the planning and execution of two company-wide events that happened this week.

Escapade reminded me that I didn't used to be so hermitish. I really only had one incident of note (to me) which Rache kindly helped resolve. the rest of the time I found quiet when I needed it... I have a feeling having the beach so close was a big plus there, rain or no. I spent a lot of time walking along it in the early early that is my habit whenever I hit the west coast.

I went back and re-read some of the Never series in SPN, finding I still like it and even remember where I was going with it. That hasn't actually translated into anything yet.

I'm working on uploading my stories to And Archive of Our Own. Someone kindly sent me what they had on their hard drive but I'm having to do a lot of html stripping and actually formatting, more than I expected, but I shouldn't be surprised. Most of what I have was written and coded long before CSS or any or the simpler coding and even my old word documents are showing some surprisingly unsupported character returns, so it's mostly been about turning it all into text files and recoding them. Ugh. But, it's happening and I'm relatively committed to getting it done this year if nothing else. Sooner would be better but there's still only so many hours in a day I'm willing to be on the computer to do it. I might feel lest frustrated if I load later stuff, but it's the older stuff that's not available any longer, so, Duncan and Methos once more have most of my attention, if not the same loving cruelty I use to greet them with.

Both Websites are coming down. I don't have the time or brain power to deal with them at the moment, since the only way both sites could be taken is if there's actual someone with access to this computer. I kind of doubt they've been trolling WHOIS looking for someone with multiple websites. Whihc means all of my passwords have been comprimised including my bank and personal financial accounts.

Those of you looking for my older stuff in any fandom, sorry. I don't know when any of it will go back up. Most of my SPN and TFAF stuff is in this journal and I'm assuming that it's secure for the moment.

Those of you who have stuff hosted at either Wordsmiths or Assignations, I hope you have copies -- you might want to find someplace else to host it.

Anyone who can help pass the word (say to the M7 & Highlander crowd) I'd appreciate it.

So, I got a flood of messages when I finally checked email on this and buying accounts and invite codes and cool features and amazing things and notices from friends and uhm....

Hi.

...is sheepish