ibarw

[maygra]

I've been trying to formulate some kind of post for ibarw all weekend. The miscegenation row tipped something ugly in me and I've been trying to get a handle on it since then.

However.

Every post I try to write, that I put together, all come off as either, "This is why and how Maygra comes by her racism, conscious and unconscious," or as a justification of why, despite my best efforts, those often subtle tendencies and reactions still surface, or how, after a lifetime of actively trying to cultivate colorblindness I now resent (because it is my privilege as a white woman to do so) discovering that that effort may have been misguided and even hurtful in ways I never intended.

That probably says more about me than even I want to know.

Anything else I could say about it would be more self-justification, and while usually I'm all about that?

Not this week.

Comments

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

Actually, I rather like this post because it's such a raw self-examination and shows how insidious racism really is. That the hurt and the damage ultimately touch everybody, in different ways and to different extents, and what we discover during acts of "exploratory surgery" is often not what we thought (feared) we might find, but it is something different, but no less painful.

[i-naiad.livejournal.com]

What kadymae said.

Also, perhaps you could consider phrasing the post you've been thinking about in terms of self-exploration as opposed to self-justification.

I wasn't going to post anything, because I feel that I'm still at an embryonic stage of recognising racism in myself and understanding my behaviour, but after reading around I think that maybe these experiences are important to share. That it's important to have as many voices talking about and decrying racism as possible. Perhaps if we talk about how hard we find it to shed our preconceptions and what we do to counter that, it may lead to other people explore their own.

I don't know. Like I said, I'm a newbie to all this (and that's my privilege).

[stele3.livejournal.com]

There has never been nor will ever be anything that upsets me deeper or more consistently than knowing full well that I have racist thoughts. It's something I hate, something I don't know how to get rid of.

But I'll own it. I'll own it as my responsibility, and though I want to make excuses for it, I won't. It's the only way I know how to fight it.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the colorblindness issue really kills me, too. It troubles me, because I actually think in the best possible world that's how we would all be, but it seems like recognizing difference and accepting it is how we need to go now. My own racial issues get wrapped up in this and it becomes a personal issue that I feel somewhat disenfranchised about.

[gretazreta.livejournal.com]

" how, after a lifetime of actively trying to cultivate colorblindness I now resent (because it is my privilege as a white woman to do so) discovering that that effort may have been misguided and even hurtful in ways I never intended."

Okay, THAT is probably the most thought-provoking and insightful thing that I've read recently that reflects (unfortunately) my own experience, my own racism.

Perhaps that's the thing - a good thoughtful writer encapsulates the experiences of others - even if you feel like you're just trying to unpack your own?

And where that becomes, jeez, practically a public service, is that others have to take that away and think more about it -as I am now provoked to do. So, it's not just a mirror of your own concerns, it's a mirror to me of mine? And so much more articulate and to the point than I have yet been capable of on my own?

And... it doesn't read as self-justification, it reads as a challenge against self-justification - not to let ourselves off lightly simply because we MEAN well. Personal truth isn't of necessity self-indulgence, either.

It's an uncomfortable position for a reader, as well as a writer.

So I reckon you should write it, I suppose I'm saying. I guess that's presumptuous, if so, I'm sorry (but obviously not enough not to say so, :) ).

[meko00.livejournal.com]

I haven't been around lately, but I do have some thoughts on things I've read about here on LJ. It's just that my perspective is Scandinavian, and I've already been somewhat burnt from attempting to discuss cultural differences so I'm wary of jumping into the fray.

I found a thought-provoking article via Arts & Letters Daily yesterday: The downside of diversity. I think I need to reread, though. We have problems of our own, but they're not easily transferrable to US circumstances.

[adelheide.livejournal.com]

My lady, I salute your honesty. *clinks glass*