I have a hard time expressing how the loss of sherrold
feels. I know I'm glad she's no longer in pain, and I hope she knows how very much she was and is loved. I wish peace for her partner and family, for the friends that were with her until the end, close by and sharing their stories about her.
For someone I only got to see once or twice a year, if that, she made a huge impression on me when I first got into online fandom. In many ways, everything I know about fandom, I learned from Sandy, and from people in her circles.
The very first time we met in person was at Escapade, the first Escapade I'd ever been to, and Sandy as I recall was instrumental in me getting there. We argued,earnestly, and in front of a huge group of people on a panel about feedback and criticism, where Sandy argued that Criticism needed neither permission nor needed to be positive, and I argued that for a non-professional pursuit, there was a lot to be said for being nice or being silent. I think she probably cracked up a few years later when I pretty much reversed my position.
The thing was, that the argument was entirely congenial, even funny.... there was a point where I'm pretty sure we had a side competition going on about who could make the best comment to both make our point and make our panel attendees either laugh or jump up and down in protest, wanting to put their opinion forth. She was really, really good at encouraging people to join in the discussion.
The other thing I remember is her voice. I don't know how many cons that had indoor pools we attended in concert but if we did, you could almost always be sure at some point there would be singing in the pool room because the acoustics were so awesome. Sandy had a gorgeous singing voice.
She taught me a shit ton about vidding, something I've never done, but something she, and wickedwords
, taught me about from beats to POV, to a million small details that I likely would never have been aware of on my own.
And she taught me about writing, about keeping my POV's clean, about understanding my audience, about how amazing it is when someone tells you something you wrote affected them.
Sandy had a laugh that made you want to laugh too, she had some looks when she couldn't believe what she was hearing that made me crack up. We shared a deep love of H/C fic and she taught me not to be ashamed or embarrassed by that.
I honestly barely remember a time in fandom that I didn't know Sandy, and after meeting her, there was never once when I didn't respect her opinion, or stand in awe of the joy she was so willing to share.
Others have said it, that even if you didn't know Sandy, never met or heard of her, chances are someone in your circle had or was influenced by what Sandy so easily shared.
There are a lot of fantastic people in fandom, people who are bright lights and draw you in, make you comfortable, share easily and who you always feel right at home with;, who you can pick back up with no matter how many months or years have passed since you last saw them. Sandy was one of those people. She was funny, warm, loving, smart, and gave the best hugs. For me she was a huge part of the heart of fandom. But even outside of fandom she was someone I loved and admired and learned so much from.
You are loved my friend and will be missed. I hope your path is a sweet one, Sandy. Save room for the rest of us on the couch.