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I've been trying to formulate some kind of post for
ibarw all weekend. The miscegenation row tipped something ugly in me and I've been trying to get a handle on it since then.
However.
Every post I try to write, that I put together, all come off as either, "This is why and how Maygra comes by her racism, conscious and unconscious," or as a justification of why, despite my best efforts, those often subtle tendencies and reactions still surface, or how, after a lifetime of actively trying to cultivate colorblindness I now resent (because it is my privilege as a white woman to do so) discovering that that effort may have been misguided and even hurtful in ways I never intended.
That probably says more about me than even I want to know.
Anything else I could say about it would be more self-justification, and while usually I'm all about that?
Not this week.
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However.
Every post I try to write, that I put together, all come off as either, "This is why and how Maygra comes by her racism, conscious and unconscious," or as a justification of why, despite my best efforts, those often subtle tendencies and reactions still surface, or how, after a lifetime of actively trying to cultivate colorblindness I now resent (because it is my privilege as a white woman to do so) discovering that that effort may have been misguided and even hurtful in ways I never intended.
That probably says more about me than even I want to know.
Anything else I could say about it would be more self-justification, and while usually I'm all about that?
Not this week.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 02:58 am (UTC)Also, perhaps you could consider phrasing the post you've been thinking about in terms of self-exploration as opposed to self-justification.
I wasn't going to post anything, because I feel that I'm still at an embryonic stage of recognising racism in myself and understanding my behaviour, but after reading around I think that maybe these experiences are important to share. That it's important to have as many voices talking about and decrying racism as possible. Perhaps if we talk about how hard we find it to shed our preconceptions and what we do to counter that, it may lead to other people explore their own.
I don't know. Like I said, I'm a newbie to all this (and that's my privilege).
no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 11:09 am (UTC)Just as the idea of being colorblind felt like something I should be acknowledged for, which you know, regardless of whether its a good or bad or even important thing, kind of misses the entire point.
IF we believe there's a right and wrong way to live our lives, that there are distinction between being a good or bad person (even incrementally) then doing the right thing and being a good person shouldn't be expectant of a reward, they should be the default. Kind of like, no one expects a citizen citation for not speeding.