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I've been trying to formulate some kind of post for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
ibarw all weekend. The miscegenation row tipped something ugly in me and I've been trying to get a handle on it since then.
However.
Every post I try to write, that I put together, all come off as either, "This is why and how Maygra comes by her racism, conscious and unconscious," or as a justification of why, despite my best efforts, those often subtle tendencies and reactions still surface, or how, after a lifetime of actively trying to cultivate colorblindness I now resent (because it is my privilege as a white woman to do so) discovering that that effort may have been misguided and even hurtful in ways I never intended.
That probably says more about me than even I want to know.
Anything else I could say about it would be more self-justification, and while usually I'm all about that?
Not this week.
ibarw all weekend. The miscegenation row tipped something ugly in me and I've been trying to get a handle on it since then.However.
Every post I try to write, that I put together, all come off as either, "This is why and how Maygra comes by her racism, conscious and unconscious," or as a justification of why, despite my best efforts, those often subtle tendencies and reactions still surface, or how, after a lifetime of actively trying to cultivate colorblindness I now resent (because it is my privilege as a white woman to do so) discovering that that effort may have been misguided and even hurtful in ways I never intended.
That probably says more about me than even I want to know.
Anything else I could say about it would be more self-justification, and while usually I'm all about that?
Not this week.
