FIC LINK: The Fall From Grace in Ten Easy Steps (SPN: Adult, Death)

[maygra]

Title: The Fall From Grace in Ten Easy Steps (Ten connected drabbles)
Author: Maygra
Status: Complete
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings/Ratings: Adult, Death.
Notes: Though I tend to write dark fic, I rarely (only once before) ever write death fic. Nor do I read them very often. That this presented itself to me is as suprising to me as to anyone.

Comments

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

Oooooh... the best thing about reading something this good this early in the morning? I'll be thinking about it all day. The worst thing? Same :D

I think my favorites -- meaning, in this case, the ones that hurt the most -- are IV, V, and VII *whimper*. That Dean loves more, and knows it... and that he's not strong enough to let go of any part of Sam, even the broken parts. *thumps chest* Right here, gets me right here.

And at the end, I can't be sad for them. For John, yes, but the way IX reads to me, Sam and Dean died together and under the circumstances, I think that's the best either could wish for. (Well, and Missouri hearing the car makes me think they're still together, in some fashion, and this is where I admit I'm going to be pondering a Winchester afterlife all day.)

[maygra.livejournal.com]

thank you.

I almost wrote a coda called "Salvation". I'm still pondering. And yes, in this they go out together, there's no way to separate them.

I'm not honestly sure who loves more or if either of them do. Dean can't let go. Sam won't, at least that's how I see them. I think Dean would rather die than live without Sam. I think Sam would rather Dean live. Hard call to make.

[le-wicked.livejournal.com]

so beautiful.

[maygra.livejournal.com]

thank you

[mrscutedean.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart I can't even explain how much your writing gets to me. It's simply stunning.

I am not a slasher but every fic you read writes the love the boys have for one another so beautifully that I can't NOT read the slash either.

You have such a gift, in the darkness and the pure simplicity of your writing, every sentance oozes heart and soul and feeling.

Never ever stop writing.

Thankyou x

[amalthia]

this story hurt but in a really good way. I feel for Dean and Sam and if they had to go out I don't think Dean would want to live if Sam wasn't there. It's less painful if both die instead of one surviving the other.

[itwasmeantto.livejournal.com]

-smiles sadly-

~B~

[lorij.livejournal.com]

Ow. But, so so so good.

[shealynn88.livejournal.com]

Oh, so sad and beautiful and deceptively simple...the writing was perfect and eloquent and just...guh!

I was afraid, when it said "two for the price of one" that someone got left alone...maybe Dean, but of course, he'd never be the same for losing Sam, so in a way, he'd be dead too. Ugh! And in a whole lot of ways, that would be worse than both of them going together. So, I'm glad that's clarified. Is it weird that I'm relieved they both died? Probably.

I love how themes are reflected through all of the drabbles, the symbolism of the altar and the cross and the darkness that is in Sam. God, how sad! I try not to think of him like that, because it just pains me, but when you write it, even the dark, pained version of him takes on a kind of terrible beauty.

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

I'm not honestly sure who loves more or if either of them do.

I was influenced by V, but then that is strict Dean POV, so. :)

I think Sam would rather Dean live. Hard call to make.

It really is... Sam already knows what it is to be the person left behind, but parsing whether he'd want Dean in that position requires knowing the depths of Sam's feelings for Jess, and what Sam believes about the depth of Dean's feelings for him.

Basically, it's a great big tangle of pain and *cough* I'm kinda drawn to that :)

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

... and I didn't even say that right, because it's not really about whether Dean loves Sam more than Sam loved Jess or... any weirdo permutations thereof, it's about how Sam feels about his life after Jess, and what Dean's life would be like without Sam. I suspected at first -- and I think Sam still does -- that John Winchester views his hunt as having a solitary goal, an end point, and after he's found whatever killed his wife, nothing after that matters. ("Home" and "Asylum" made me think harder about John's relationship to his sons and I'm not sure where my head's landed yet. Possibly I'm up in the air about this until we get new episodes.) But I don't think Sam feels that way; he's clearly on the warpath now, and I think he's realizing once it's over he can't exactly just go back to Stanford, but I think he still believes he'll have some kind of a life after all this is over.

So... (good lord, could this be more convulted?) the question is whether Sam feels Dean could live after his death, or just exist until he got whatever got Sam and then just stop?

(I need another icon with Sam. Phoo.)

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Okay. In general as regards to the series, yes, I think Sam absolutely thinks Dean could go on and I really think that if Sam died, Dean would go on, even more determined than before.

In regards to this bit of future-fic, no I don't think it's possible either of them would go on without the oterh. Physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Because this is a story about possession be it literal or just perceived an d I don't actually think the series is heading int hat direction exactly.

[maygra.livejournal.com]

thank you. I think :(

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yeah, tough for me to write -- hurts my heart.

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It pains me too -- which is why I don't usually write death fic (ner death all the time!) butthee was something about them fighting through all of it, maybe even recognizing they couldn't win and yet still finding a way to *live* with it and through it, and even finding moments of solace and peace and even purpose to it all. And I liked (if that's the word) that thorugh all of it, death still had to come to them and trick them, becasue othewise they'd just have kept cheating death.

[southernwinds.livejournal.com]

This took my breath away.

I've found in your stories, I tend to have one or more of three reactions:

1. I find myself physically exhausted, because you've written so much emotion and action and every bit of real life into it that at the end, it's as if I lived it myself.

2. I am in complete awe at your skills and just re-read it over and over until I could quote it word for word, backwards, if need be or

3. It takes my breath away and I read it obsessively to pick out clues, and to try and figure out what exactly makes it just that amazing--I never do find it, but it's just as marvelous the second, and third, and tenth times around as it was the first.

This one completely stole me.

Cheers,
Kits

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Wow. thank you. (although, sorry about the exhausted part.)

I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you so much for telling me.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

This was just so perfect and painful and Dean and Sam were just so....THEM.
This goes beyond fanfic and right into literature. This was amazing and all made my heart ache. I am incoherent with my love of this. You rock.

[may-burrows.livejournal.com]

Beautiful and sad. (May have choked up a little at the ends, but I'll never tell). It took me a few seconds to realize that they were dead-- I totally skipped over the note at the beginning in my rush to get to this (I'm finally home and have three weeks to read fic, make icons and maybe even work on some ideas that have been percolating in the primordial soup of my brain), and when I DID get it, it hit very hard. It was so right though-- they fight together, they die together... and then, I want to think, they live on together in some way. Perfect. Amazing. Now I'm off to read the rest of the things I missed while neglecting my f-list during finals week.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

These were quite wonderful. I've waited all this time to read them so I wouldn't be caught teary-eyed at work, but in fact they were stirring but not weepy. Especially, I think, because of the implication that they went together. The thought of one of them surviving the other is so painful that I just can't stand it.

Some lines I particularly liked were these: He fears that in giving so much of himself to Sam, that what is Sam, might be getting pushed out. Day by day, he's haunted by the ghost of a brother who isn't dead.

and the idea that "Looking at Sam is something Dean does for his soul." That whole drabble was wonderful, covering the different angles of who we are and with what parts of us we love other people.

[rawumber.livejournal.com]

And so I'm having tears with my tea.

Beeautiful.

[goes back further]

[tigriswolf]

My god. This fic is... it's perfect. I could read and reread and read some more for days.

I'm breathless...

[ruby-jelly.livejournal.com]

This is magnificent.

I read it so nervously, a deathfic! I've avoided them after a bad experience - how many tissues does a family box hold, after all? Can't remember breathing, and was totally entranced; you weave a power spell. Tying if off with Missouri hearing but not seeing the car, heart wrenching.

I found this on a rec list, and had to search out the date written; it reads so fresh and powerful. The conflict and resolution in and between the two, paints clearly the journey and co-dependence they appear to be trapped to travel together. You've knocked me out!

Ruby

[tigriswolf]

I wanted to reread this, but the link isn't working anymore.

[maygra.livejournal.com]

http://chaikhana.net/spn/fallfromgrace.html